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You Are Not Alone

You Are Not Alone

There Is Someone Who Understands

As a client advocate at Alcove Health, a follow-up call with a client can be filled with joyous news or laden with the sadness that comes with the knowledge that a life will never be lived on earth. We often think the latter is associated with abortion. We also serve women who valiantly overcome tough odds and are looking forward to bringing life into the world.

This week during a quiet moment in the day I sat down to check in with our precious women. I called one of our carry-to-term clients, Maria, only to hear on the other end of the line a nervous “hello”. Her English was broken, but there was no mistaking the sound of fear and anguish in her voice.

I felt instantly that I was her lifeline and knew that I needed to carefully listen to every syllable she uttered.
Maria went on to tell me that she had been experiencing unsettling signs earlier in the week and went to the emergency room. Once there, doctors told her that there was nothing that could be done to sustain her pregnancy and sent her back home with instructions to navigate through a miscarriage. She was explaining to me the process that she had been working through and all I could think about were the notes on her case that I had refreshed my mind with before calling. She just went through this same thing last year.
I felt instantly that I was her lifeline and knew that I needed to carefully listen to every syllable she uttered.

Maria seemed to calm down as I shared that we have resources to help her work through the days to come. Someone who understands.

* Name changed to protect our client’s identity

Stephanie Meitz, Senior Client Advocate

April 21, 2020

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The Return Ultrasound

The Return Ultrasound

Where One Heartbeat Changes Hearts Forever

It was what we call a “return ultrasound” appointment. A week earlier Jada came to her first appointment without the father of the baby, received a consultation and pregnancy test and was now returning for an ultrasound. This time, though, he came with her.

Jada, certain an abortion was her best choice, was now returning with the father, who she didn’t even want included in the first appointment.

The ultrasound revealed she was quite a bit further along than she expected to be. A clear image of a definite baby. The couple was quiet, but not upset. There were some tears, but not of despair, more of awe. Later, as I thought about it, it seemed to be a sacred awe. One that feels like fear, but weighs like a privilege.

Afterwards, in the consultation room for another consult, both Jada and the father of the baby stated similar sentiments: overwhelmed, with a mixture of fear and excitement. The father spoke of wanting to do this right.

“I have a great program I want to tell you about, Dad,” I say to the young man, planning to tell him about a local program just for Dads.

He exhales and smiles. “Wow, you called me ‘Dad.’ That’s the first time anyone has ever said that to me.”

It was a word that rolled off my tongue quickly, but a word he clearly felt very deeply. “I’m going to call them as soon as we leave here,” he said of the program for Dads.

A man, coming in just to see an ultrasound image, leaving with the weight and honor of fatherhood. It was a good day.

* Name changed to protect our client’s identity

Sherri Pigue, Client Advocate

Sherri Pigue, Client Relations Manager

April 20, 2020

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The Best Gift

The Best Gift

A Safe Space to Process Your Feelings

Going through any crisis can leave one frazzled and in need of reassurance. What if you add an unplanned pregnancy and a pandemic into the mix? Here at Alcove Health, we are meeting women daily who are living this reality.

Recently I met with Ava, a young mom contemplating an abortion to end her unplanned pregnancy. One of the first statements she made to me was:

“I was sitting in the parking lot at the abortion clinic crying so hard. I just knew that I didn’t belong there. It just didn’t feel right. So, I looked online and found Alcove Health.”

Shyly she sat down, quieted her nerves, and began to tell me that she is a single mom with two daughters who depend on her. Ava had just lost her second job when Covid-19 struck and has no family to help her, only a lifelong friend who is solely encouraging her to hang in there. Ava shared with me that she is desperate to do better than her mother did and be a good example for her girls. Berating herself for a “moment in time” her heartbreaking story continued. I was honored to listen and share these moments with her knowing God was present with us in the room.

A smile and many tissues later, I was able to tell her that she has already given her children a better life than she had. I told her that she is not alone. There is a community standing by you and rooting for you to have the future that you have fought so hard for.

Ava breathed a sigh of relief and said, “This feels so good, you know? Just having the chance to hear myself say this out loud and uninterrupted is the best gift. Thank You. I needed this more than you know.”

* Name changed to protect our client’s identity

Stephanie Meitz, Senior Client Advocate

April 19, 2020

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Dismantling the Walls

Dismantling the Walls

“So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; It shall not return to Me void, But it shall accomplish what I please, And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.” Isaiah 55:11​

Abuse. Neglect. Drug addiction. Scary and sad words that are spoken all too often in the consultation room. How does a child cope with such a home? Some build a wall. Not a physical wall, of course, but an invisible one. One that protects a fragile mind from the full range of emotions that would normally flow from such an environment. Many learn to cope with the help of the wall. Some find the wall a continued source of protection and comfort as they transition into adulthood and face new challenges. This was Kristen’s experience. Somehow, by the grace of a God who she did not know, she was able to forgive and could even speak kindly of her parents. Yet the wall was still intact, helping Kristen cope with the stress of an unplanned pregnancy.

This was not her first time facing this situation. 

Kristen had a history of pregnancies, some ended in abortion, some had ended in miscarriage, one even ending in the life she now calls “daughter”.

She knew the wall was there. Kristen spoke of her lack of ability to feel emotion, she spoke of her logical, left-brain that helped her think about her situation in an objective manner. It was those attributions that allowed Kristen to divorce the feelings she has for her daughters from the feelings she might have for her unborn child. Kristen recognized the inconsistencies in her thought process, but she had come to love the wall and wasn’t about to abandon it in the midst of a crisis.

Like many of our clients, Kristen had a Grandma who loved Jesus and a mom who found Him useful sometimes during her journey to healing. But Kristen rejected the idea and instead chose to think of God as a force. And that was understandable. When a person has suffered much at the hands of those who are supposed to love and protect them, the concept of a loving and gracious Heavenly Father can be hard to grasp. But Kristen was open and allowed us to share the Gospel with her.

Kristen listened intently and even asked some questions. Was the wall coming down? Only our Lord knows. But by the end of her consult, Kristen was beginning to see that this wall wasn’t such a great help after all. 

Kristen affirmed the need for counseling, and even more surprisingly, she accepted a copy of the Jesus Storybook Bible to read to her daughter. Our Lord is the only one who knows his plans for Kristen and the life she is carrying. But one thing we do know, His Word never returns void and so we rejoice for every opportunity we have to share his great love for sinners like Kristen. For sinners like you. For sinners like me.

* Name changed to protect our client’s identity

Sheri Coker, Senior Client Advocate

April 14, 2020

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Allyson’s Story

alyson's story

October 20, 2019

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Rena’s Story: Surrendering Her Secret

Rena's Story - Post-Abortion Support - Surrendering The Secret - Care Net Peninsula - Newport News, Virginia, VA
Rena's Story - Post-Abortion Support - Surrendering The Secret - Care Net Peninsula - Newport News, Virginia, VA

Rena's Story

I remember well the night I decided to tell my mom my big secret. We had an hour car ride ahead of us and I was determined to finally spill the hurt that had been tearing my heart apart for five years. I spent the whole hour re-positioning (and sweating profusely) trying to form the words on my mouth.

I HAD AN ABORTION

I got pregnant. It was not planned. I was afraid and I believed the lie that abortion was a quick fix and would be the answer to all my problems. I would be able to go on living my life, but I was deceived. My life quickly began to spiral. I was depressed and self-destructive and filled with shame. I continued to believe the lies: “You don’t have a right to be sad. You chose this. You are alone. People would reject you if they knew what you did. You are unworthy of God’s forgiveness.”

I waited until we were in the driveway and I still couldn’t form the words. In God’s mercy, my mom just knew and she comforted me and told me that she loved me. A few days later, she referred me to a Bible study that she knew for women who had experienced the trauma of abortion. I felt like I had been drowning for so long and this was my precious gulp of fresh air.

Surrendering the Secret shattered the lies that had imprisoned my heart for so long. I was not alone. I found a group of women who understood what I was going through, who had no place of judgment or condemnation. I found a place where I could share my story. I was granted the space to be sad, where I could grieve my tremendous loss. Most importantly, I met with God through His Word and like a tender parent, He comforted me and told me that He loved me, unabashedly loved me.

Since then, I married a godly man and have since had beautiful babies. I have shared my story with women in my church about complete freedom in Christ. I have had the opportunity to lead this incredible study at Care Net with the gift of meeting other women whose lives are transformed by this study. I have shared my story with strangers who are hurting…the same story that couldn’t even form on my lips now flows shamelessly because of this recovery group.

For my fellow sisters who have experienced abortion, I know your heartache. I urge you: be a part of this Bible study. Let God’s light flood into those dark hidden places. “His light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it” Believe the truth: You are loved. You are forgiven. You are not alone.

April 15, 2019

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Tischell’s Story

Tischell's Story

When I found out I was pregnant I felt nervous, overwhelmed and bad … totally stuck in the moment and wanting time to stop so I could figure out what was going on. I felt like I was in a blur for a few weeks. Confused, that’s the best word to describe it. I came to Care Net Peninsula because I knew that I was pregnant and wanted to make sure that I had an opportunity to speak with someone about what was going on.

When I came to Care Net they were very, very welcoming and friendly. The total mood in the center was excellent. When I saw the ultrasound, that was such a game-changing moment! I still wasn’t 100% sure how I would do, but that joy! …I can remember that. And now seeing my son’s face is like “WOW! That little dot that was on the screen is this little boy that’s full of joy now. That’s awesome.”

Since coming to Care Net, I was able to decide and commit to having my son and to continuing on with my pregnancy. I had a beautiful, healthy baby boy. My life is totally different. I am so excited about what God has done! My son is great. He is amazing!

He’s healthy! He’s smart! His name means “Jehovah has Healed” and his birth has just helped heal so many areas in our lives. I am so grateful to experience that joy and not the condemnation of going through and terminating a pregnancy. That’s honestly amazing!

By Kimberly Logsdon, Executive Director

November 19, 2018

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Audrey’s Story | A Weighty Decision

A Weighty Decision

Audrey and J.J.'s Story

When Audrey and her baby boy Justin (who she calls ‘JJ’) came to the center for photographs, we watched her lovingly interact with her son. This attentive mother told us about what she was learning to help encourage her baby’s healthy development. An observer would not have guessed that Audrey wasn’t sure about her decision when she unexpectedly became pregnant.

When I found out I was pregnant I was a live-in nanny and just received my esthetician license. I was trying to get my life in order and starting to transition from side jobs, weekend work, and full-time school. I was nowhere near a position to have a baby! (but then again who is ever prepared for children?!). When I found out I was pregnant, I was absolutely frazzled and stressed. I’ve never had a difficult time making decisions but the decision to keep, carry, or adopt were weighing their heaviest. I came to Care Net because I knew before I made any decision I had to know what was healthiest for me. I had to know everything that came with having an abortion.

Care Net greeted me with unwavering support. No matter what option I was going to make, [I felt] there was a group of people not judging me. Since coming to Care Net, I chose to carry a healthy baby boy. I delivered him at 33 weeks so we did a four-week stint in the NICU… with no worries, just passing the time for him to grow and go home.

By Kimberly Logsdon, Executive Director

June 24, 2018

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Natasha’s Story

NATASHA'S STORY

When I found out I was pregnant . . .  My life was very crazy, Unfortunately, I had just got out of a verbal and physical abusive relationship with my husband. I had just moved into my new home with my 5-month-old daughter. And two months later I was pregnant again. So when I found out I was pregnant again I was depressed and told myself I was not keeping the baby no matter what. Before I found out I was pregnant with my Son I was already depressed and dealing with PTSD and trying to stay strong and take care of my daughter.

When I found out I was pregnant, I felt . . . When I found out I was pregnant I felt lower than before. I was so scared and disappointed in myself. So many feelings and emotions and thoughts ran through my head.

I came to Care Net because . . . I have a healthy family worked that at the time I was seeing every week. She told me about Care Net. At first, I was going to Care Net for advice about abortion. Because once I found out about the baby abortion was my only option. In my head, abortion would set me free from all of this. All these feelings and emotions.

When I came to Care Net they . . . When I came to Care Net they talk to me and told me my options. They listen to me and helped me to think clear and stop thinking with fear. They help me to realize its not the end of the world. They made me feel like I wasn’t alone And they would be there for me. Chrissey is who I talked to that day and really talk to me and listened. She has supported me the whole pregnancy Checking up on me. Just making it clear I am not alone. She’s really helped me stay positive. I needed somebody to talk to more than anything. And Chrissey gave me that. I hope she knows how much it means to me.

Since coming to Care Net . . . Since coming to Care Net I am more positive about what I want in life. I realized that people do care about you and there is support out there for you. You’re never alone even when you feel like you are. These past few months I am more ready for my son than ever because of Care Net. I am excited about his arrival more than ever. I regret the day I wanted to get an abortion. I can’t wait for my daughter and me to meet him. My daughter is going to be a great big sis and I know I will continue to be a great mom.

2018 Spring Newsletter

By Kimberly Logsdon, Executive Director

March 20, 2018

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Tierra’s Story

TIERRA'S STORY

When I found out that I was pregnant, I was 25 years old and already had a 4-year-old son. I felt scared, nervous, and unsure of what to do. I felt to be 25 years old at the time, I had much more to accomplish and I wasn’t ready to be a mom for the second time.

I came to Care Net because I was given their business card during a previous pregnancy at a local clinic. They treated me so well and welcomed me with open arms that it was only right that I returned with this pregnancy.

When I came to Care Net Peninsula I never felt judged for the choices I made in my life. I was always treated like I was important and they showed me respect.

Since coming, I have built more confidence, I am happy to be a proud mom of my son and new baby girl thanks to Care Net Peninsula. I learned to own my decisions and make the best of them.

Because of your support of our ministry, Tierra beat the odds of having an abortion! Please pray for Tierra and her children as she grows in confidence and love as a mother.

By Kimberly Logsdon, Executive Director

November 17, 2017

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Care Net Peninsula is a 501(c)3 non-profit. We provide the help and hope local women need to choose life for their baby.

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